NRMA and a whole lot more!

"Roadside assistance and a whole lot more"

A whole lot more what??! Boiled lollies??

Is it just me, or is this ad for NRMA just a little bit wrong?

The Advertising Industry

he he....

Spring Ideas

Coles has an idea......spend bucket loads of money on a full page press ad for a Spring Ideas catalogue.

I have an idea.....work on the copy and come up with a better idea.

Is it just me or is this a very difficult ad to read and make any sense of altogether?

And what that picture all about?

Then there's some kind of insight which says you'll save time so you can spend more time in the sun?

I just don't get it.

Get Stuffed

I suppose if animated stuffed animals are the best thing some of the world's leading air fresheners like Glade and Air-O-Zone (or whatever they've called themselves this year) can manage to represent their brands, even though they have absolutely nothing to do with anything, then I suppose they're good enough for a no-name air conditioning gadget.

Shit, that's a long sentence and I couldn't be bothered finding a better version.

Well, at least the animals have something to do with the message. Don't know if a penguin and a hippo would be my obvious choice of hot and cold though. A couple of my previous girlfriends would be much better examples there.

MILF on a Loo

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Second Life is Weird

The other day I checked out Second Life and I reckon it's plain weird.

And it's full of weirdo's. They're probably all normal people in the real world but the whole thing seems a bit too bizarre - all these strange looking things running and flying around the place.

Is it me or is it all just a bit sad?

There's not one part of me that would prefer to converse with a cartoon figure who looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and the tooth fairy over going to a friends place for a glass of wine and a yak or heading to the pub.

I know there's a bunch of advertising agencies and companies and whoever else building a presence in Second Life, and for some brands it probably makes sense.

Now that I'm back in the real world of FMCG business and selling products on the client side rather than on the advertising side, Second Life doesn't get doesn't get much of a look in.

A couple of months ago we had an off site where 3 or 4 agencies presented an online update to all the marketing team. Everyone was talking about the phenomenon that is Second Life.

It's the agencies job to know about that so fair enough.

And maybe one day 38 year old mums with kids will be frittering their day away talking to alien things on Second Life, but right now a $100k investment will get me 2 weeks of advertising to a million people in Adelaide and for now I'll take that thanks.

Nando's Marketing Free Gum

This is what happens when you listen too much to your advertising agency.

Then again, every client has the right to say no to an idea presented to them.

Probably a great ad in the schoolyard - 21,000 hits on YouTube. But surely you can target a male 17-23 demographic without every other target group looking on in amazement and thinking whether they'll ever buy the stuff again.

Nando's - quality food, well designed stores, slutty advertising.

Truth in Advertising

It's amazing what happens when someone tells the truth in advertising. It's seen as a stunt.

From today's SMH...

Sydney's real-estate agents aren't renowned for being dead straight in their descriptions, but faced with selling a complete dump, one of them has decided honesty is the only policy.

In a regular property blurb, 25 Waterloo Street, Rozelle, might be described as "quaint", or a "renovator's delight" - realestatespeak for a screaming disaster-zone.

But its selling agent Paul Cooper has tried a different tack - the two-bedroom cottage is in such a state he decided to reveal the awful truth, cheerfully admitting it's a "dump".

"Situated directly next to a petrol station and metres from the almost stationary peak-hour traffic of Victoria Road, one can imagine they don't come much worse than this," his ad says.

The half-page ad, for Mr Cooper's agency Ray White Balmain, goes on to point out the home's other "features".

It is "particularly popular with talentless graffiti artists", the "holes in the wall provide natural air-conditioning" and its lack of kitchen is "irrelevant as the club does great food".

The property's owner approved Mr Cooper's unusually upfront sales pitch, which the 28-year veteran of the real-estate game says he's successfully used before.

"It was a place in similar condition to this, it was pretty much derelict, and we hadn't had any luck," he said.

"We put out an ad like this one and went from gettting two people to view it, to getting 30 people along."

Waffle

Russell Davies has quite a nice little post about waffling on about pointless brand theory when from the consumer's perspective, nothing's changing and they're not seeing anything different.

Thought this cartoon was quite relevant. It's been sitting on my hard drive for a while.

I think I picked it up from another blog about 3 months ago, courtesy of Tom Fishburne, who has some pretty classic close-to-the-bone cartoons.

'Close to the bone' - is that the right expression?

MOTHER

I'm officially a Mother.

I'm a Marketer On THE Run.

Which means we now have to consider the Mother Factor.

Since I got back into the corporate side 4 months ago, it's business as usual. Well, almost business as usual.

The big difference is that it's just so busy. All day, every day. Without a break. Long hours. Making decisions on the go. Not having enough time to think about stuff.

It's the same all over the company I work in. And when I talk to my other marketing mates in other companies it's exactly the same.

When I got to Sydney 11 years ago, things were different. I used to get taken out for lunch by the fragrance suppliers or ACP or Pacific Mags or some promo agency. Probably about once a month or so. I wasn't a bludger. It was just what happened.

And that was before the golden age of the 80's which I missed. Unfortunately.

Nowdays if I get taken out for lunch it just means I'll be working half of saturday to make up for it. Which annoys me because:

a) I like long lunches
b) the best deals are done over lunch and
c) great relationships with my suppliers are formed over lunch.

Tell this to a Brand Manager today and they look at you all funny, just before they turn away and keep writing the promo brief they're about to pitch to 5 different agencies. Including the one that just delivered record sales and response rates on the last promo.

Even the Christmas period is different. There used to be a wind down period before Xmas day. Then you'd ease back into it on Jan 10th and be full steam ahead by about the 20th.

Not nowdays. It's like stopping for a quick drink in the 100m Olympic Final.



So what does this all mean? What implications does the MOTHER factor have?

Call me. Call me now.
I love the strategic thinking. But I don't have a lot of time for it. There's a great opportunity for the agency to be pro-active. Start the conversation. Start the thinking. And then finish it.

I'm not sure the last time a strat planner rang me or my Research Manager to talk about an idea they had that they wanted to discuss further, or get some further insight into.

Hang on. Yes...I do remember it. It was 7 years ago. No bullshit. (Good on ya Cate).


Agencies have to be sleazy guys in a night club.
Sleazy guys who are out to pick up women don't take no for an answer. No means yes. They just keep going and going until the girl says yes.

Agencies have to keep pushing. Not on the creative idea. That's a given.

The agency has to push back on finding time. They have to make sure they know the business problem properly so they can formulate a strategic solution.

Marketers are so busy, finding 2 hours to just talk about the business seems like a waste of time. It's like nothing gets done. Of course that's not the reality, but it seems to be a non productive time in a younger marketers mind.


Don't Overwork the Waiter
Ever been to a restaurant where the waiter is really, really busy?

He's good at what he does, but he's the only guy working that night and trying to serve 25 tables. Everyone's pissed off. They're waiting too long. The guys not even getting the basics right. The guy might be trying his best, but hey....that's the last time I'm going to that restaurant.

It's the same feeling being a marketer and the Strat Planner is stuck waiting too many tables - 3 different clients and 9 divisions within them.

The guy's on a hiding to nothing.


Learn a Foreign Language
Marketing Directors need to force their team to learn a foreign language. The language of advertising and communication.

It's not a natural bent for marketers. Whilst we all want to travel to South America and learn Portugese and frolic on the beach in Rio for a couple of years, the closest most of us get to a Brazilian is when the girlfriend comes back from her beauty therapist.

Get the Brand Team to apply for Award School. Get the agency to run creative presentations. Run 1 on 1 workshops as part of the weekly WIP to discuss what other brands are doing. Start a marketing department blog and encourage people to contribute to it - brand team and the agency. Get the agency to be a sleazy guy.

Learn the foreign language of good creative. Just don't go overboard like Amanda Vanstone.


Look like Sydney Rail
A lot of marketing teams work in open plan environments these days. You want everyone to think you're always working really, really hard. No-one promotes a slack arse. And everyone can see when you're being one.

So it's hard to stop answering emails that no-one cares about and sit back and think. Even for 10 minutes. Sit back in your chair and think. Of course, people will think you've lost the plot.

But marketers are allowed to think.

Look like you're not working for a while. Look like Sydney Rail. And think about how to make things better.


Hire Good Mothers
Companies need to hire more experienced people who can make decisions on the run. Decisions based on years of experience.

Believe it or not, there are some Marketing Managers out there today who have only ever made one or two ads in their life. When things are going 150 miles an hour, it's gonna get sticky.

So when the 24 year old Assistant Brand Manager moans about not being a Marketing Manager on $150k a year, tell 'em they're dreaming.


Make time for the long lunch
Prioritise. Let small stuff slip through the cracks. Recognize the stuff that won't make a difference.

Learn that it's ok to say to some people 'that's too low on the list priorities and won't get done', and then go and have a long lunch anyway.

'Nuff said!


Amanda Vanstone - Super Mum and Dedicated to learning foreign languages

Killer Babies Driving Hyundai's

Stan over at Brand DNA recently pointed out the lunacy of the Advertsing Standards Bureau Board banning a recent ad for Hyundai.

I wholehearteldy agreed. Until I read this article today in the SMH.

Stan, is there a case that we were wrong? Hyundai's advertising is turning KIDS INTO KILLERS.


TODDLER DRIVER KNOCKS DOWN MUM

March 14, 2007 - 10:03AM

A Melbourne woman is in hospital after her toddler son hopped into the driver's seat of her car, started the engine and then accidentally pinned her between the car and a brick wall.

A Victoria Police spokeswoman said the accident happened about 5.30pm (AEDT) yesterday at Rowville, in Melbourne's south-east.

"The car was parked in the driveway near the entrance of the garage and the child has got in and started up the engine," the spokeswoman said.

"The car has somehow moved forward and mum has become pinned between the car and a brick wall," she said.

"She was taken to Dandenong hospital suffering from a possible broken hip."

The woman, aged in her 30s, also suffered pelvic injuries and was in a stable condition this morning.

Her 18-month-old son was not injured.

The Knox Traffic Management Unit was investigating the incident.



I'd suggest Knox Traffic Management start their investigation over at Hyundai head office where they teach babies to kill.

Boring Bunnies

What would be the most boring FMCG marketing job in town?

Here's one guess.....Brand Manager for either Duracell or Eveready.

There's only one thing you can do with a a battery to have a point of difference. Make it last longer. But you don't want to make it last too long or you'll drop volume.

So you just keep bashing out the same old comparative spot year after year after year. Senior management says it has to be done that way 'cos the research says consumers take in and believe the message. I suppose they probably do when you shove it in their face in qual groups and ask 'em 20 questions.

All I know is that when I see one, I just switch off. I just see another bunny, or action man, or whatever, and know I'm gonna hear the same old story.

"We last longer than Durcaell". "We last twice as long as Eveready". blah blah blah.......

After decades of seeing these ads, I still don't have the faintest which lasts longer.

The overall perception I'm getting is that they're both about as good as each other. It would be like getting propositioned on the same night by both Kylie Minogue and Scarlett Johansson. Either would be fine thanks.

Surely there's an opportunity for one of these brands to start connecting with the consumer in a different way? Maybe one that will make me feel a lot more positively about it when I'm at the shelf making the choice.

Jason Recliner trivia fact - I went to the same primary school as Kylie. I wonder if she remembers me?


Research clearly shows men would rather see another TVC with the bunny than these girls.

My Weird Twin Brother

This is a bit strange.

I've discovered the Jason Recliner is being replicated over at something called antoffthehook.

It's like I've just found my weird twin brother who's kind of ugly and a bit stupid and doesn't make a lot of sense.

I wonder if this post will be replicated word for word as well?

Eating Sports Cars

So you're the marketer of a 4WD and you have a tricky one on your hands.

You know one of the main reasons people buy 4WD's is so that when they're in an accident with another car, it's gonna be the other car that comes off worse.

This insight is even more powerful for new mums. Mums who have a lot of money. Mums who live in suburbs like Mosman. Mums who drive approx 3km each day to and from their kids school.

So how do you communicate the truth of that insight? The insight that if you're in a bad accident with another car, then the other person will probably be killed rather than you and your kid because you have a 4WD?

Here's how Ford Territory are doing it....eating other cars for breakfast. Pretty clever.

And yeah, I know that the voiceover is talking about turbo. But when you watch it without sound the visuals are telling another story altogether.

Click here for the ad

Australia Day Self Google

Google maps have just been released with high resolution maps of Australia taken on 26th January - Australia Day, reports the Sydney Morning Herald.

I've always loved reading maps. As a kid I would spend hours cruising through the street directory.

So it was only reasonable that I tried to see if I could see myself on the map, as I drank the afternoon away with friends under the giant oak tree at the Oaks hotel on Australia Day.

Well I could see the Oak tree but not my beer.



The view was better from under the oak tree than from above it...



..then as you go up, the view gets better again!

That Orange Square Thing

Last year when I had way too much time on my hands, I noticed everyone had that little orange Feedburner thing on their blogs.

It looked pretty cool.

So I headed over there to Feedburner, read all about it, and signed up and got one as well.

But I have to admit, I have absolutely no fucking idea what it actually does.

Warney

This has absolutely nothing to do with marketing or advertising, and everything to do with the fact that I am already missing this bloke....


Shane Warne - 8 of the Best




Kevin Bloody Wilson - The Shane Warne Song

Tonk a Kiwi....not

I notice that the end of the cricket season has fallen just in time for Ford, who have now taken their Tonk-a-Pom and Tonk-a-Kiwi promotions off line.

Because as we all know, the Kiwi's tonked our arses out of the park.

Just after the poms tonked-an-Aussie in the latest one day finals.

I wonder what the consumer's response would have been to the campaign if the results hadn't gone Australia's way in the test series?

Would that have left punters with a view of Ford as a brand which completely misjudges things? Backs the wrong horse? Boasts without delivering the goods?

Not great attributes to have associated with your brand I reckon.

Ford are very, very lucky for a 5-0 Ashes thumping. They've got Shane Warne to thank in a big way and probably need to buy him a new car.

Archie Thompson and the Lada

About 20 years ago they tried to launch the Lada in Australia.

Russia's answer to the Ford Laser was launched onto the market for about $12,000. They sold a few of them. But then they stopped selling them. It seemed the hot Australian summers were melting parts of the Lada that were designed more for Siberia than Townsville.

But the Lada was always a brand destined for failure. It will never work in this country.

Or will it?

Sometimes when you launch a new product, it just dies in the arse. Then you launch the same product 5 years later and it bombs as well. Every 5 years, you relaunch it. Each time, there's something different. Maybe a new management team, new paint, some new features. But fundamentally it's still the offering underneath. And people see it as a dog no matter what.

Then one day, the product is launched again. And it goes mental! Everyone wants to get on board and own it.

That's football in Australia today. After years of Lada launches (and accompanying dodgy Lada quality), football is now the iPod of sport in Australia. And I am absolutely loving it!

How bloody good was it to see 50,000 football fans in Melbourne watch the Victory thump Adelaide yesterday?


Archie Thompson won the impressive new Lada Kalina with his Man of the Match performance


I'm a Sydney FC fan but really, it would have been an injustice to the league if Sydney had somehow bumbled their way into the Grant Final and tried to score by hoofing it over the midfield and into the slowest forward line in the comp.

The finals series had some fantastic football throughout. Really great football.

Years ago I got Foxtel and used to watch all the English Premier League games until the wee hours. Or tape them and watch them on sunday morning. Nowdays I have no interest in Arsenal vs Reading, or Tottenham vs Charlton Athletic. I would rather watch Newcastle vs Adelaide. Two years ago they would have locked me up for saying that.

I'm just going to reminisce for a second about the time that this brand was relaunched. When John Aloisi knocked in the deciding penalty against Uruguay last year, he started the rebirth of football in this country.

Unfortunately I missed the Australian World Cup frenzy in this country. Fortunately I was in Germany at all the first round Aussie games! Here's some photo's of this glorious new powerbrand sweeping the country.....

And perhaps there is hope for the Lada yet.


Sydney - John Aloisi gives birth to Football



Kaiserslauten. Australia v Japan.




Munich. Aust vs Brazil.
"I will sell my mother for a ticket"



Der Guten Guys. Proving that consumers the world over will buy white goods at cheap prices from dickheads.



Stuttgart. Aust vs Croatia. There's a party in my pants and everyone's invited.

In the Margins

I was in a bar the other week waiting for someone and decided to do something else besides bury my head in my mobile phone trying to look busy when I'm really just sending meaningless text messages to friends for fear of being seen as a lonely loser in a bar.

So I pick up this street mag called Lifelounge, whose theme last month was 'Tight".

I remember growing up reading Mad Magazine and Cracked comics, where the margins of the magazine used to contain jokes. I forgot all about this until I started reading Lifelounge.

On every page there's a bit of a smartarse comment in the margins around the 'tight' theme.

It's an interesting little space I haven't seen too many advertisers in, and certainly not in the mainstream mags. Maybe there's printing limitations to doing it, but if not, maybe this represents some kind of opportunity?

If nothing else, at least I get to show the picture of the half shaved llama, or whatever that thing is.